So I’ve heard JK Rowling may extend the HP series. I wonder if she’ll make it more adult. And perhaps throw in references to other popular fantasies. Tolkien, say…
Ron and Hermione are lying together in bed. Hermione has a distinctly disgruntled look on her face.
“ Late. AGAIN!” she snaps.
Ron’s ears turn red.
“A wizard is never late! He arrives precisely when he means to!”
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Acupunture
Acupuncture: now that’s a medical treatment that’s gotta have an interesting history. These Chinese captors torturing their prisoner by using him as a human pincushion:
“YOWW- hey. Hey! Hey thanks man, that migraine was a real fuckin pain, and you know, the cost of aspirin these days…” [it is an oft forgotten fact that the invention of aspirin preceded Christ’s coming].
*Chinese torturers exchange glances. One of them shrugs. The other resolves the confusion by lopping off the prisoners head. Which thuds to the floor, still beaming in surprise.
“YOWW- hey. Hey! Hey thanks man, that migraine was a real fuckin pain, and you know, the cost of aspirin these days…” [it is an oft forgotten fact that the invention of aspirin preceded Christ’s coming].
*Chinese torturers exchange glances. One of them shrugs. The other resolves the confusion by lopping off the prisoners head. Which thuds to the floor, still beaming in surprise.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Perhaps its from all the angsty teenage music i'm listening to, but i don't feel obliged to disavow the opinions from my previous post: that youth is for living. I always feel vaguely guilty when i do crosswords. Such a old grannies pursuit. I'll be drinking sherry next. And shuffling about knitting booties. My new genre of music WILL BE the click-click-clacks of knitting needles. I'll be bopping along to their syncopated rhythms until i dislocate a joint or wear down a hip or something. But then...if i enjoy doing them, then what's the problem? What's the big issue? I DEFY THE AGEIST AUTHORISATION OF TEENAGE ACTIVITIES!
But, you know, plenty of time to indulge in them when i'm old. But there's a lot of other things i won't be able to do once the arthritis sets in, and the skin sags and yellows and the fingers become gnarled and the aphasia sets in and the images of yesteryear fade and the world looks at you as an obsolete parasite sucking gumlessly on the taxpayer wage....ohhhhhhh god i'm scaring myself. Hmm. Plan #2: die young. Live fruitfully. As in eat fruit a lot. I'm living very fruitfully. Full on fruit. I had 3 apples today. It makes me hyper.
HYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPER
!
But......I WILL NEVER GO BANANAS. Bananas suck. Any human who eats a banana is instantly transformed into a monkey. Visually, it's inescapable.
But, you know, plenty of time to indulge in them when i'm old. But there's a lot of other things i won't be able to do once the arthritis sets in, and the skin sags and yellows and the fingers become gnarled and the aphasia sets in and the images of yesteryear fade and the world looks at you as an obsolete parasite sucking gumlessly on the taxpayer wage....ohhhhhhh god i'm scaring myself. Hmm. Plan #2: die young. Live fruitfully. As in eat fruit a lot. I'm living very fruitfully. Full on fruit. I had 3 apples today. It makes me hyper.
HYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPER
!
But......I WILL NEVER GO BANANAS. Bananas suck. Any human who eats a banana is instantly transformed into a monkey. Visually, it's inescapable.
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